Filet Mignon

July 21, 2008 at 5:00 pm Leave a comment

 

It’s been over two weeks since my friends pulled me out of a lake with my shorts around my ankles, and my back still isn’t feeling much better.  

Let me back up.  A few weeks ago I went with some friends to see our other friend Dowd act in a play.  The performance was fantastic, but what we saw in the bathroom during intermission might have been equally as entertaining. 

 A 60 yr old man.  At the urinal.  In a sports coat.  With his pants (and undergarments) around his ankles.   We found this moment very inspirational.

So much so that a few nights later a couple of guys and I decided to emulate this act on the edge of a dock.  It wasn’t my idea, so I was the last of three guys to step up.  It was pretty dark and I didn’t see the small metal boat-tie right in front of me.  You can guess what happened.  Fortunately I had time to catch my balance with a quick step.  Unfortunately, what I thought was a continuation of the dock was actually and 8 inch drop into a lake water/urine mixture.  

I remember a boat being there, my back hurting instantly, and a few moments of being underwater.  My friends were able to pull me back onto the dock, and I could tell they weren’t sure if it was okay to laugh yet.   So, they stared at me.  I rolled back and forth making a scream face, but no noise came out.  All I could feel was a pulsing pain in my back.  I was completely unaware of anything else such as my friend Mack who had snuck away to release his laugh or the fact that my shorts were still barely hanging onto my ankles.  

Embarrassing sure.  But, the lingering back pain is even worse.  According to my doctor I hemorrhaged my psoas muscle.  (the human filet mignon) 

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I am the only person in the entire world that… JUST FILL IT

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